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Is there a person among your acquaintances, after communication with whom the mood falls, life begins to appear in dark colors and an unpleasant “aftertaste” remains after the dialogue? Congratulations, there is a toxic person in your environment. And it’s good if this is a casual acquaintance or a one-time contact. But what to do for those who are often forced to communicate with "poisonous" personalities? For example, relatives or colleagues. It will not work here to burn the bridges completely and irrevocably. The solution is unusual: it is necessary to introduce new rules of communication, and somewhere even neglect etiquette. How to do this as diplomatically as possible and without prejudice to ourselves, we will share with you.

Toxic people - who is it

We’ll clarify right away: you shouldn’t record all those who are unpleasant to the company that poison life. Toxic people have a number of parameters that make it possible to correctly classify them in the right category:

• obsession;

• perseverance;

• everything is always bad with them;

• constant whining;

• complaints about life;

• self-righteousness;

• total control;

• the ability to create a scandal from scratch;

• lack of pity, compassion and participation in others;

• constant criticism and condemnation of those around them;

• enjoyment of negative emotions caused by the opponent.

It is no wonder that after talking with a "poisonous" person, you feel squeezed like a lemon, but these are only "flowers." Among other emotions, the victim may include irritation, self-doubt and self-reliance, decreased self-esteem, a sense of stolen joy.

How to protect yourself

Of course, the most obvious solution is to run far away from this kind of people, breaking all ties. But such an option in practice is often a failure. Firstly, your boss, colleague, neighbor or close relative may turn out to be a toxic person. Secondly, there is absolutely no guarantee that life will not immediately prepare you for a “surprise” in the form of a meeting with a similar character. Therefore, the best thing is to develop a kind of antitoxic immunity. Our tips to help you:

1) try to minimize negative communication

If stopping it completely is not possible, establish clear boundaries and personal space. Do not let your opponent step over them. For example, on vacation, “turn off” topics about work, break off discussions with a friend of her husband, stop criticizing your work, etc .;

2) your weapon is a calm and convincing tone

A toxic person literally provokes you to respond negative emotions and gets lost when you do not receive them. By all means keep calm and peace of mind. Otherwise, you will again fall into the trap of "you feel bad, he is good." At heart you can experience a storm of emotions, but do not “feed” your opponent outwardly;

3) we rephrase the well-known saying "knows less - sleep better"

This is just about negative communication. The less personal information a toxic person knows, the less reason he has to stab you in a conversation or discuss with others. Therefore, refrain from discussing personal topics such as children, relatives, health, colleagues, the second half, financial problems, etc .;

4) you feel that you are not coping, - step back correctly

When the words and actions of the “villain” begin to threaten your good mood, you need to leave. In fact, the pretext is not so important, the main thing is that it sounds convincing. It’s great if you prepare a “life preserver” in advance in the form of an occasion to pick up important documents, a child from school, drive a car to a car service, etc.

5) switch to your favorite business

To neutralize the effects of toxic conversation, immediately after the conversation, take the time to hobby. Occupation to your liking calms your nerves, helps you to find peace of mind and not take everything to heart, struggles with a feeling of incompleteness of conversation and emptiness.

Psychologists also advise trusting your feelings, take control of the conversation in your own hands and value yourself more. But what definitely should not be done is to justify the behavior of toxic people and wait for them to change. This will not happen, and you will spend a lot of time, mental energy, undermine physical health in the desire to establish relationships and believing that the problem is in you.

But it would be unfair to talk only about the disadvantages of dealing with toxic people. An unobvious, but compelling “plus” for you is the opportunity to look into the depths of your mental organization and closer look at your weaknesses. Why do “poisonous” people consider it right to manipulate you, arouse guilt, make you doubt your significance? Maybe it’s time to revise personal boundaries, learn to say no and work on self-esteem? Analysis of your personality, taking into account personal pain points and correcting them will drastically reduce the number of toxic people in your environment.