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Because of it, harmony and happiness in pairs disappear, relationships and families collapse. And who invented that jealousy is a synonym for love? As if the gift of heaven has something in common with total control, a sense of possessiveness, constant torment. But it is precisely these features that are inherent in the jealous. If you are sometimes overwhelmed by a destructive feeling, this article is for you. In it, we consider the causes of this negative phenomenon and outline ways to combat it.

Why are we jealous

Jealousy is a whole complex of "poisonous" feelings. A kind of ball, woven from fears, uncertainty, resentment, anger, doubt, selfishness, aggression. Often we are faced with a single negative emotion. In itself, it will not have such destructive power as jealousy. You can only sympathize with the partner on whom such “side effects” of relations fall.

But the jealous man himself has a hard time. The inner monster not only corrodes the soul, but also affects the physical state. Loss of appetite, headaches, anxiety, sleep disturbance, irritability become constant companions of all Othello. We have not yet touched on the aspect related to their unsightly behavior.

Of course, there are situations when jealousy is justified. Then she acts as an honest and adequate feeling. Here it does not need to be suppressed. On the contrary, it is important to realize the unsightly, but the truth, accept the situation and reconsider the relationship.

In the case when it comes to unreasonable suspicions, it is better not to let the problem drift. Why a problem? Because psychologists are inclined to assert: causeless jealousy is a psychological disorder based on our imaginary inferiority. That is, deep down we consider ourselves unworthy of love.

Jealousy occurs if our internal balance is disturbed for various reasons. Among the most likely, we note the following:

• low self-esteem;

• diffidence;

• fear of loss;

• excessive affection for a partner:

• a heightened sense of ownership ("only mine");

• egocentrism, when a person thinks that everyone around him should;

• a model of behavior “scanned” from the parental family;

• negative experience of past relationships (betrayal, betrayal);

• projecting your own suppressed desires onto the partner (you think about something else, but ascribe thoughts of “betrayal” to the partner), etc.

How to stop being jealous

If you are annoyed by an unsolicited guest in the form of jealousy, the only right decision is to work on yourself. Because not a single partner, even the most ideal one, can fill a gap in your soul. To emerge victorious from a battle with negative feelings, use the following recommendations:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.Your only “competitor" is you yesterday. And if you want to change something in yourself, add, correct, act! But do not plague yourself with "parallels" with others;

2. Work on self-esteem.Stop looking for hidden and explicit subtext in your partner’s behavior, believing that the reason for his actions and words is in you. Each lives its own life and is unique in itself. And you are no exception;

3. surround yourself with human attention.Understand correctly: this is not about flirting with the opposite sex. Often we lack elementary human participation, interest in us, compliments, intimate conversations and easy communication. All this gives confidence;

4. Be frank with a partner.Develop openness in a pair, do not be afraid to seem vulnerable. Even if the loved one is not a supporter of intimate conversations, practice sincerity. Share your feelings, worries, doubts, fears;

5. Switch to your life.Is this akin to a collapse of relationships for you? In vain! Jealousy is dangerous because it closes your life on the personality of your partner. He will not lose interest in you. On the contrary, a passionate, purposeful person with his plans is always attractive.

In the fight against jealousy and gaining confidence, work on appearance helps a lot. Perhaps you have long wanted to change the style of clothing, make a new haircut, work on a figure, go to the gym. But when working on external changes, do not forget about the internal work. Psychologists strongly recommend reflecting on the causes of jealousy. If fear drives you, consider what consequences you fear, whether they are objective. If you feel a need for something (attention, communication, romance, finances, etc.), think about how you can satisfy this need. Self-doubt people should reconsider their strengths and weaknesses, eliminate false attitudes about themselves ...

In a word, switch to yourself, delve into your own soul instead of focusing on another person. We promise: you have a lot of amazing and unexpected discoveries! And, as a result, the search for solutions to their problems, the path to freedom. Awareness of jealousy, its causes and work on yourself will ultimately qualitatively change your life. Do not miss such a chance!